Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Driver mar gaya kya?

Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot ) Ud Raha tha full speed par ....

Uske Saamne full speed me ek Ferrari AA rahi thi ...

Dono ki takkar hui ...

Totaa Behosh ...

Raste me Ek Beggar tha

Usne Tote ko uthaya aur Ghar Le gaya ...

Usko Marham lagaya ..

Aur Pinjare me rakh diya ...

Jab Tote ko hosh aaya ...

Usne apne aap ko Pinjare me dekha ...



Bola ...

"AAILA ... JAIL .... Who Ferrari ka Driver mar gaya kya ??

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Check out the IT Field for U !

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
16. DELL : Deplorable Equipment & lackluster
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana

Thursday, 15 March 2012


Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?

Needless to say he never made it. You know why?

These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome.

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labour - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe.

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favour of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

Urine - opposite of you're out.

Varicose - very close.

Ekdum Filmy love letter

When I am: Kareeb

There is only: Khamoshi

I want to speak: Dil Se

That's my kind of: Ishq

I want this to be: Gupt

As I always have: Darr

That I will loose you: Sajani

And that would be great: Sadma

I am your: Mr.Aashique

But sometimes bit: Deewana

Tell me: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

As I feel : Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

In this : Duniya Dilwalon Ki

I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya

May be : Dil To Pagal Hai

Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai

The whole world appears as: Dushman

But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha

Monday, 12 March 2012

Taxi Driver

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed , lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Bear and Rabbit

There once was a bear and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree.

The tree said: "I will grant you 3 wishes a piece if you will stop fighting!"

So the bear went first. "I wish all the bears in the forest are females."

And all the bears in the forest turned into females.

The rabbit said: "I wish I had a helmet." Rabbit gets the helmet and the bear looks at him funny.

The bear wishes: "I wish all the bears in the country are females." The wish was granted.

The rabbit says, "I wish I have a motorcycle." By this point the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he's ever seen.

The rabbit could wish for money and have all the motorcycles in the world.

The bear says: "I wish all the bears in the world are female." The wish is granted.

When it's the rabbit's turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his motorcycle, starts and says: "I wish that turn this bear in gay ."

Thursday, 8 March 2012

PYAR se samjhana

Principal ROUND pe nikla. dekha 1 teacher 1 ladhki ko
kiss kar raha hai.

PRICIPAL - what is this ?

Teacher - Maar se samjahti nahi, isiliye PYAR se samjha raha tha .....;)

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

JOB in Airtel

send your CV to JOBS@Airtel.in 
Last date :- 31 April. 
Location :- Ahmedabad 
Salary :- 32000/month 
Job Nature :- airtel k tower per beith kar vodafone ke signal rokna.

Bura Na mano Holi Hai.

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Dad watching Fashion TV

Dad watching Fashion TV....

Suddenly son came. ..

Dad: Gareeb ladkiaan hain...kap de lene k liye bhi paise nai hain..

Son: Isse bhi gareeb chaiye toh CD hai mere paas..

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Laloo's job in US

Laloo sent his BioData to apply for a post in Microsoft USA. Few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements.
Please do not send any further correspondence.
... No phone call shall be entertained.

Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference-

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogi ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayi hai."
Everyone was delighted. He continued "Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter padhkar sunaungaa ? Par letter angrezi mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga."

Dear Mr. Laloo -Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiya
You do not meet -aap to milte hi nahin ho
our requirement -humko to zarurat hai
Please do not send any further correspondence -ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahin
No phone call -phoonwa ka bhi zarurat nahin hai
shall be entertained -bahut khaatir ki jayegi
Thanks -aapka bahut dhanyavad
Bill Gates - Tohar Bilva

Good job :)

Pawan joined  new job
1st day he worked till late evening

Boss asked :
What you did till evening ?

He replied :
Keyboard alphabets were not in order,
So I made it all right.

Friday, 2 March 2012

call of death

A Husband makes a Call to Hospital to inquire about his pregnant wife.
But accidently the call went to a cricket stadium.

He asked what is the condition.
He died after what he heard.

Guess What would be the reply ....
It is ...

7 are already out.

3 More will be out hopefully by lunch.

and .................................

The first one was a DUCK

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Power of the media

A servant enrolled his donkey in a race & won.
The local paper read: 'SERVANT's ASS WON'.
The king was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the servant to get rid of the donkey.
He gave the donkey to the queen.
The local paper then read:
The king fainted. Queen sold the donkey to a farmer for 10$
Next day paper read:
This was too much, KING ordered the queen to buy back the donkey & leave it to d jungle. The next day Headlines:
The king died next day!
its...Power of the media..